Neko

She shoots him down

she wakes up with the sun beaming to her eye
a heat cluttered stuck to her brain
spinning her head to unmemory
brink of blindness unsustained

digging back from her yesterday
forcing to remember what words were said
still nothing - as far as she can see
from the ten thousand scenes that twisted

a sudden spring of image clicked to her
from going back and forth and rewind
a shadow that made her laugh but not smile
is this the one?

she didn’t care where he’s been
and don’t care what he plans to do
a fool’s numbness sprouted and lingered
as they both let the day pass too

she waited for that moment that never came
and all her patience came burning
so time has sent the signal to halt
and she knows he always had it coming..

—–
note: Oh, was i listening too much to Stone Roses or not? lol..

a poem to pay tribute to Feb 2nd.. and the camera painting entry for illo friday.. so for those who regularly see my posts at another blog, my apologies.. i just can’t log in there.. silly they require me to have a Gmail account! pff..

Now playing: The High Dials - The Lost Explorer

Last Thursday, I saw a former colleague visiting our office. Actually, I saw him in the cafeteria smoking with 2 other guys presently employed in our company. I remember he quit his job because he was so pissed and irritated with “the system” of the company.

He used to tell me about his greavances and even encouraged me to join their mass resignation. I understood his concerns, but for myself, I wouldn’t go to the point of resignation. It would be too idealistic for me to do so. Let’s just say my idealism died a long time ago. And because, face the facts, wherever you go, whatever your job may be, there will always be people or bosses who will piss off an employee or two (or even a group).

But I listened to him then, and even advised him to accept the fact that nobody pleases everyone.

Yes, I enjoyed the companionship of my colleagues, and even some of my bosses. And I confess that I love my job. And I know that not all employees are as “open-minded” as some are.

And so the mass-resignation did not push through. Nobody followed him, but he still continued. A few months later, one after another, veteran callers were disappearing. Some got laid off because of their absences, some because of calling issues, and some simply wasn’t able to stand the pressure of work.

Being in a call center, with its fast-paced, pressured life, is not as easy and glamorous as others may think. It is draining, in all sense of the word. But, it’s just up to the person if he can take up this challenge or not.

So, going back… Ironically, the person my x-colleague hated most was with me that thursday morning. We were just on our way out of the building. I saw his surprise especially when she told him that I was promoted.

Yes, I know that of all the people, I am and could be, the most unlikely to be in this position. Knowing that I heard too much from the agents, and I have only been in the company less than a year.

So, seeing each other that day, we weren’t as enthusiastic as before. For one, I was feeling guilty of something that I did not do. The first thing that came to my mind was he must have thought that I told his worst-hated person what he told me long time ago. I can almost see it in his eyes. And I so much wanted to tell him that whatever we talked about will never be spoken by these lips; will never be written by these hands; and will never be known by anyone. That’s who I am. I keep the secrets of both sides to myself.

I have fallen in a place where I know the comments of the agents and I know the plans of the leaders and bosses. But I stay quiet, and just observe. I have never betrayed anyone’s trust. And I remain as a true co-employee as being true to a real friend. Because I hold on to the beliefs that..

“Your job is not everything” and
“There is Life outside the office”

—–
The song above is not in the samples in the High Dials’ myspace. I actually heard them first over my fave online Indie Radio ~ Monday playlist.

photo credit: “Lunch time at work” by Sloworking2

A poem I posted on January 08, 2005 while I was listening to the albums The Madcap Laughs, Opel and Barrett, when I was in my dark-sided days, when I was half the way down, Soaring with Syd Barrett came to mind today. Then I remembered, yeah, it is exactly a month since his death.

It’s a habit of me to bring out old records to soothe my agony, as I remember those days when I used to light up some doobey and lock myself in my room. It used to feel like I could stay there in my room for all eternity, but then again after the kick wares out, I realize that it’s only been a day or two. Anyway, that remote feeling of peace, happiness and tranquility (although temporary), without minding and laughing at the mess of my room, my mind flying into deep unknowns, floating with music, laughing more, write, write, paint draw and write some more then laugh at it all… somewhat causes different trips depending on mood… oh, well, but I was not into other trips than that. Ok, sometimes eating too much like there is no tomorrow.. heh!

They said those who were hooked with Pink Floyd was once hooked with doobey too. That’s judgmental. But hey, do I know anyone who wasn’t? But unlike LSD, or acid, that was a once-legal pharmaceutical, it causes euphoria, flights of almost tangible fancy, hallucinations, and on the downside, somewhat depressing and harrowing trips. And according to Of Syd Barrett, Psychedelia and Psilocybin, “…By 1966, the drug had been criminalized as it was by then the party favor of choice for hippy kids and swingers of all stripes, including Barrett. Barrett became an acid casualty. A man so consumed by the inward journey the drugs led him on that he soon became unable to function in his role as bandleader and songwriter for Pink Floyd…”

The article was fairly well written, but in protest to just these particular statement about Syd, I found the interview of Syd’s sister, Rosemary, in her first interview for 30 years.

The ‘crazy diamond’ founder of Pink Floyd was no acid casualty or recluse. He loved art and DIY, his sister Rosemary tells his biographer Tim Willis… [read the rest of the article]

Another interview that I recall reading years back was with Ian Barrett, the 22 year old nephew of ‘Syd’ (well that was in 2000). It was reproduced on the Dolly Rocker web site.

Art of Syd Barrett. And I’m pretty sure there is more artwork that he has done which is currently hidden from the public. And I am definite that someday, even his art will be well known.

Surfing I found links photos, and even vids of him, and Pink Floyd (none for live performance tho) Here is Spirits of a Generation - a show about Nick Drake and Pink Floyd Documentary.

Photos of him are of course, part of information and a fan’s collection. But I still think that taking stolen shots of a person preferring to live in anonymity is still a violation upon a person. I found collected photos of him in recent years here, with a mix of stolen shots and news articles, even photos of his house: [neptune pink floyd gallery]

A question tho, also found in neptune’s site, at first glance, I thought they didn’t mention who she was in this Mick Rock Garden Session… but she definitely looked Asian to me…

… But then, I saw a photo note that it was either Mick Rock’s girlfriend or wife. hmm… And I almost thought it’s another unpopular Lennon-Ono pair. Ok, I’m not on dope here… heh!

My cd just coincidently currently plays the outtakes, bonus tracks from Madcap Laughs, that’s why… Yes I’m thiiii-iiii-iiin-king of this yes I am… hold you tiii-iiiiight you’re so close yes you are please hold on to the steel rail… he isn’t love on sunday’s mail… Did I wiiii-iiii-iiiinking of this I am, yum yummy yam dope yummy yhum yam yum hah! love that voice and humor!

But his shift from humor and wit, to deep lyrics, sincere, dark and melancholic adding the melodies of his guitar, creates a hero in disguise. Words to hang on to who seemed to understand what you’re going through and takes you to a ride to flee from it all, and remain in wanderment. In a way, Syd and his music was a friend, a guardian who helped me hang on, trip, cry and laugh out your madness and miseries away. This will never reach him, but THANK YOU SYD! You will always be remembered… and you shall continue to shine on, you crazy diamond!

If Nick Drake’s sister, Gabrielle said “I personally prefer to think Nick committed suicide, in the sense that I’d rather he died because he wanted to end it than it to be the result of a tragic mistake. That would seem to me to be terrible: for it to be a plea for help that nobody hears.”

So too do I think that for Syd Barrett.

—–
more links:
The Syd Barrett Archives
Pink Floyd Official Site
BBC News: Syd Barrett dies age 60
Collected links: Look At This

related site:
official site for Nick Drake

I just mail from DARLA Records, announcing its New releases and restocks for May, 2006:

CHAPTERHOUSE
Whirlpool           cd      $12.99

Inspired by My Bloody Valentine and Ride, Chapterhouse were part of the early 90s first-wave shoegaze scene. They were on the more pop/rock end of the spectrum, often mixing in the Manchester baggy beat with their wall-of-sonic-guitar-fuzz alongside peers

The Stone Roses, The Charlatans, and Blur. Chapterhouse created records to stimulate both mind and feet. This newly expanded reissue of their classic debut Whirpool, includes all the b-sides from the singles ‘Pearl’, ‘Falling Down’ and the ‘Sunburst EP’, along with ‘Die Die Die’ which was originally only available on a free record that came with the vinyl version of the album and is on CD for the first time. Produced by the band along side Robin Guthrie [Cocteau Twins], John Fryer [This Mortal Coil], Stephen Hague [New Order] and Ralph Jezzard, and featuring guest vocals from Rachel Goswell [Slowdive], with liner notes from music journalist and long-time associate Andrew Perry, along with the lyrics in full [documented here for the first time], photos, memorabilia and other clippings from the bands personal archive, and images of all of the releases featured on the album.

JULY SKIES
The English Cold      cd      $14.49

Re-press. July Skies is the musical project of Antony Harding, a member of the Birmingham based electronic band Avrocar who were cited as an influence by Radiohead during the recording their experimental album Kid A.

Avrocar and July Skies have previously received significant airplay from John Peel and Mary-Anne Hobbs of BBC Radio 1 and BBC Radio 3. July Skies debut album Dreaming of Spires was a pastoral departure from the dark skittery urban beats of Avrocar and trod the path of reflective dreamlike compositions that were heavily anchored in childhood memories and a lost 1950/60s English countryside.. musically, think the Durutti Column, the melancholy of Piano Magic, Maurice Deebank (Felt) or Robin Guthrie (Cocteau Twins). July Skies have received excellent reviews from a recent successful gig at the Pop Revo festival in Denmark where they supported The Clientele and Radio Dept. Nick Halsted reviewed English Cold for Uncut.

NARA LEAO
Nara ‘67           cd      $12.99

Restock. A brilliant 23 track compilation of the Brazilian Bossa Nova star Nara Leao. The cliche about Nara Leao was that she was “the muse of bossa nova.” As a teenager in the late ‘Fifties, she opened up her parents

house as a salon for the movers and shakers of the early bossa nova scene - Tom Jobim, Joao Gilberto and others to hang out in. In the early sixties, as bossa nova exploded internationally, Nara rose to stardom. Soft and sweet, moody and sensuous, she performed pop and beautiful samba and bossa standards and established her reputation as one of the outstanding talents of her generation. She toured Japan, Brazil and France with Sergio Menzies and returned to record political songs that were critical of Brazil’s prevailing military junta. Nara’s catalogue of recordings are so magical, of such a consistently high standard, they are sacrosanct in Brazil. this compilation concentrates on recordings made in 1967 her absolute best period. Nara Leao has more recently began to cultivate an audience in Japan where like Astrud Gilberto, Elis Regina and Claudine Longet her sweetness strikes a real chord. A biography of Nara Leao as a history of bossa nova has just been published in Brazil. Sergio Cabral, “It’s a mystery why she hasn¹t been recognized as one of the most influential characters of our music. We forget people easily. But I believe that, at least unconsciously, the revolution she started was realized by the people who surrounded her.”

SPACEMEN 3
Playing with Fire      2xcd      $16.80

Every once in a while a record comes along that somehow manages to define an era. In the late 80’s there can be no doubt that one such record was released - and that record was “Playing With Fire” by Spacemen 3.

Fuelled by narcotic indulgence and an overwhelming sense of darkness it was rightly hailed as a classic at the time and is still considered to be one of the greatest albums of the time by many today. Its mesmerising beauty and sublime originality are still recognised as a genuine triumph to this day. complete with live versions of “Suicide” and “Repeater” and recordings of “Che” and “May The Circle Be Unbroken”. Not only that but they’ve also included a second CD full of studio out-takes and demos, including the Spacemen 3 version of “Any Way That You Want Me” - the song which went on to become Spiritualized’s debut single.

NEIL YOUNG
Living with War      cd      $15.59

MOST HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. Neil is one of the greats and this is one of the most provocative Neil Young records. Living with War is raw and real. TrueMajorityACTION is streaming the album.

You can also send a message to Congress telling them to require that the troops leave Iraq this year. I did it — why don’t you check it out? Here’s the URL for the music and the action.

NICO
All Tomorrow’s Parties: Nico Live      dvd      $19.49

A brand new, previously unseen DVD featuring one of the great all-time rock music icons - Nico. One of the most fascinating figures of rock’s fringes, Nico hobnobbed, worked, and was romantically linked with an incredible assortment of the most legendary entertainers of the ’60s.

Nico first rose to fame as a European supermodel, also landing a bit part in Fellini’s La Dolce Vita film. In the mid-1960’s she moved to New York, where Andy Warhol installed her as a vestigial presence and occasional lead singer for the Velvet Underground. The band never really accepted her as a bona fide member and she departed in 1967, but not before contributing unforgettable deadpan vocals to three of the songs on their classic 1967 debut album. Nico embarked on a solo career, recording folk-rock-flavored songs for her debut Chelsea Girl album with assistance from Jackson Browne, Lou Reed, and John Cale. Her 1969 follow-up, The Marble Index, was a dramatic departure that unveiled her doom-laden, gothic persona, produced by Cale and prominently featuring her deep vocals, impenetrable lyrics, and ghostly harmonium. Her subsequent ’70s albums explored much the same territory, with assistance from Cale and influential art rockers like Brian Eno. She fought a constant struggle with a massive drug habit and tangled personal life and eventually died of a cerebral hemorrhage in Ibiza in 1988. The original goth rocker, Nico’s albums are demanding and bleak, but map a unique and starkly powerful vision that has become more influential with age. “All Tomorrow’s Parties” features extremely rare material from two shows Nico played in the UK in the early 1980’s.

STONE ROSES
Stone Roses      LP      $22.99

Red vinyl. The color vinyl was originally issued in 1989. The Stone Roses eponymously titled debut album is now regarded as the defining release of the late 80’s early 90’s ‘Madchester’ music scene.

Byrdsian jangly guitar pop songs are injected with the attitude of The Rolling Stones. It includes the singles ‘She Bangs The Drums’, ‘Made Of Stone’ and ‘I Am The Resurrection’. Among my fave is the classic I Wanna Be Adored.

I am the Resurrection and I am the light… I couldn’t ever bring myself to hate you as I’d like (always wondered who was saying these lines… JHC? hmm… lol!)

—
note: Even if I’m stomped with work, doesn’t mean I have no time to listen to great music! There are actually over 50 releases and restocks announced by DARLA, but then again I just posed here what I like most (and don’t have yet, for that matter) hehe…

current music: Hugo Largo - Drum (listen to a track 6, “Country“. Tho pls info me if the link doesnt work or give a free download)

“Mimi’s voice conjures up a long plummet through white light and space. It’s like a parachutist still in free fall, who seems briefly weightless and adrift in an ocean of air.” -Melody Maker

The first song that I heard from Hugo Largo was “Fancy” - their cover of the Kink’s classic. But that time I didnt knew it was a cover. Her ethereal and dark mood caught my attention, adding the simple yet mysterious lyrics. Up until now, the last line haunts me. “No one can penetrate me, They only see what’s in their own fancy, always.” The first time it struct me, it conveys exactly how I feel. And this lived to become my motto. (Read the full lyrics here)

---

I feel this is going to be a long post.

The thing is, one would know if I am not in my best mood, when I listen to Hugo Largo on repeat mode.. It just soothes me to listen to music that reflects how I feel, that I wont stop until I felt better. And yes, I just have to admit I was listening to this half the night, while waiting to talk to someone *.* online. I must say, that after that I felt so much better. And the remainder of the night turned out to be wonderful after all.

Today, well, technically, yesterday, I was suppose to go to three places. First, an out-of-town weekend with my family, second, watch a local play, and third go to a night swimming party hosted by one of my colleagues.

My colleague is leaving the company and that is like her farewell party. Too bad I wasnt there. And too bad I didnt know her that long. She’s one of the funniest sweetest girl at work. And could have been a good mentor too. I saw her cry when saying goodbye to some colleagues last friday. It was her last day, and the office can’t change her mind to stay. Last week also, another veteran called tendered her resignation. She was a bit close to me. And shared some little secrets with me too. We were all surprised at her sudden plan. But, let’s just say, when people move on to better opportunities, and greener pastures, nobody has the right to prevent nor stop it.

Since I had my present job, I almost can’t imagine that I used to be depressed. I was busy all the time, both on or offline, I was enhancing my potentials that I didnt notice I had before, and when I come home I have no time to think into emptiness coz after playing with Irvine, I’m so tired, I immediately fall asleep soon as my back touches the softness of my bed.

But today, despite all my plans, call it sheer (bad) luck, my friend who planned to take me to that play, wasn’t able to buy tickets. I said I’d follow my family to the hotel where they’d stay ‘coz I was going to the swim party. But eh, plans didnt push thru coz I wasnt able to wake up on time. I got left by the rented van and nobody strangely replied to my sms’s.

I wasnt able to eat dinner on time and I’m just lazy to cook for myself. So I called several pizza shops to order food for delivery. But strangely, none of them is open past 11 pm. So settled on burgers. I managed to call one but the minimum price for delivery was too much for one meal so I needed to add more just to reach it. So I ordered bacon cheezeburger melt, baked potato with beefy cheese, a veggie salad and coke-in-can.

Past midnight a surprise came. Remember that friendster friend? I heard a knock on my gate that almost scared me, thought it was a ghost. Well, a ghost from the past indeed. He was there, and a car behind him. Apparently, he was with 3 friends but they insisted on staying in the car. He just said he’d like to drop by say hi and just give me a Blueberry cheezecake and greentea yogurt freeze. Woah my faves! He still remembered… But, his visit was so sudden that I didnt know if I should be glad on seeing him or should close the door on him. But for good gesture, I let him in. He just stayed for 5 minutes (or less). Asked how I was, where I’m working, told a little about where he is now. Then asked me if I was happy with my life. I said yes, but with a doubtful tone. Not because I was doubting my answer but because I was wondering why he asked me that. But he was really on a hurry and just wanted to give the cake to me. I asked what the occasion was, he said “nothing” just add him to my friends at friendster. Pff! He asked to take one pic of me with him, on his mobile, I got paranoid. But ok, nothing’s wrong with a pic I thought. I wanted to ask, Did you make a dare with your friends? Coz you smell like you drank. but I just kept silent. Then he left and promised to visit me again. I didnt know what to say, but just thank him for the gift. I felt I got that confused troubled look on my face.

Soon as he left, I called the burger shop coz its almost 2 hours and nobody came yet. They apologized, said my location was out of their service area, so I should wait. Then the delivery man called. He got lost and asked for landmarks near my place. After some minutes he arrived. I paid him then went inside. Some neighbors were strangely on the street (I never noticed them out this late before). My paranoia level went up some more. Were they wondering who just visited me with the noisy boom boom car? And why that time and that short? And why is he wearing shades? At night? And what’s up with delivery at past midnight? Well, some neighbors can start stories you know. But that didnt worry me much.

The thing is, who’s gonna eat all these food? And much cheese I realized too. I changed the cd on my player from Slowdive to Fieldmice. Took one bite from the baked potato, sipped my greentea halfway. Then lost appetite. Sat on the floor, looked into emptiness. And listened… “To her decision, she’s gone, she have decided to leave, if someone were to ask me, I’d say its remarkable, that she has stayed this long…” (from Landmark) Then I started to cry. Suddenly, I felt so alone. Looking at all these food, feeling the silence of the house, staring at my pc (wasn’t open that time), listening to Fieldmice.

Why am I crying? I don’t know. It was a burst of feelings from deep inside. I realized how superficial things are. People come and go. And not all expectations can be met. I dunno it was like a bolt of thoughts raced in my mind. What have I done for the past nine years? What am I doing? Where am I heading? And am I truly happy?

I stopped to think. I didnt answer my own questions. I just stared into the space between me and the wall. And tears continually flow slowly from my eyes til it was almost swollen. “Another late night back from the other side of the world, it’s been a long long day… I want to go see her and tell her what I’ve done.. thinking are we, are we passing up something we, something we should know. This friendship is, this friendship is, forever and ever.. and to break it up not ever, break it up not ever.” (from Star of David) I stopped the player after that song. My eyes searched the room.. for nothing in particular. Then I switched cds again. This time, I played Hugo Largo. I stopped crying after the 3rd song, Fancy. Then I continued to eat the baked potato and opened my pc. He wasnt there yet. So I waited… and waited… and willing to wait some more… I will wait til you come…

Then he came. And all turned out better now. It was just a lapse, a slight slide from my focus. Or was this bizarre day just pointing to one direction still? Despite all things passing by, only proves who I know would stay. And who I know sees what’s on my mind; what’s in me.

So, yes, no one can penetrate me, they only see what’s in their own fancy… but not anymore.

—
music notes: Whatever happened to Hugo Largo and Mimi Goese? Read here>>
Where is The Field Mice? Read their story at shinkansen. Or a review of their reissues

current music: Bob Marley - Wait in Vain

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn’t cutting it Your caffeine addiction level: medium

Yeah while waiting for a download to complete, I blog hop around and update a post on Irvine’s diamond sky. Gee, I don’t wanna protest against this meme… heee! It’s amazing how accurate they turn out most of the time.

Listening to this song made me wonder.. how would a Weed Latte taste? hmm…mmm…

current music: End of Contracts - “lost loser on a losing streak”

   

I just sent everybody in my friendster list a valentine.

Yep. That dreaded word of every single, searching (or not), and “physically” alone during that day they call “for hearts”.. Sour graping? nhe.. I’m not expecting any flowers this year, on that day.. erm *cough *cough tul *cough lips *cough ehem! itchy throat. As I was saying.. only happened that I recieved some when I was still a student anyway. So thought might as well just send a friendly “valentine greeting” to all.

And yep, corni as it sounds.. I still do check on that account. lol, still being me.. no clear pic of me is posted online! tsssk.. I prevented myself from doing such when I realized that everyone who views my profile or even the friends list of anyone in “my list” will automatically save my pic on their pcs, even without knowing! who knows who browses there! tsssk…

Well call me paranoid and a killjoy.. hihi (I am, I admit, coz I’m not gonna mention my link in this blog too!) anyway…

Speaking of Friendster.. strange how coincidences happen sometimes. I found out that a colleague (well he is also one of our trainors) is a close friend of a former neighbor. The thing about knowing that is not suppose to be a big deal, if it weren’t for an album I reviewed months ago.. actually over a year ago… at my Moogie blog. Go here to Read >>

Well he (my colleague), claims he was the one who sang the song “Tulog” [remix] (tulog means “sleep” in english). Yeah yeah.. I didn’t believe at first. Coz in fairness, the voice was nice, even the song itself was. Only, it was sang in our native tongue, which mostly I am not fond of, adding that this song, has juvenile lyrics, like being fond of drinking and sleeping.. brrrr… But not really taking it for the lyrics alone, well.. it’s a nice “remix” I must say. Wait, let me see if I can upload the song (for those who knows Tagalog or just like to hear a foreign experimental-trip song that sings about falling asleep and loving it) hmmm.. maybe there is a deeper meaning in it? pfff… don’t have time to analyze it tho lol.

Anyway, I would upload it in a while.

Funny how adding my colleague to my friendster list made me see he was his bandmate. And funny how my female colleagues at work go gaga over him, dunno why! And there he was, always grabbing my pen, bumping my desk or chair pretending not to know, always asking how many calls I made (while there is a posted average on the board), sticking out a tongue on me, and giggling while calling me with my nickname when I was 9, and teasing me with his bandmate. pfff.. so childish! I’m calculating with his gestures, that he is below 22. pfff…

Yeah, I am new at work, but having the highest production from our batch of trainees, and that a trainor was acting like that around me.. I can’t avoid gossips, you know how people are sometimes. So I just try to be friendly to everyone, hence the “valentine greeting”. I just hope that I am just being paranoid about that gossip thingy tho.

Ok, this post is going nowhere.. maybe I just lack sleep. So bye for now… my eyes are falling…

As the song “Tulog” goes…
“Matulog ka, ipikit ang mag mata. Puyat ka ba? Sige lang, managinip ka. Lumilipad, lumalangoy, sige lang, tuloy-tuloy ang tulog. Ang sarap matulog..”

(Go to sleep, close your eyes. Do you lack sleep? It’s ok, go on dreaming. Flying, swimming, it’s ok, continuously sleep. It’s so nice to sleep..) haha! What an aweful translation! ROTFLMAO..

—
music note: most of endo’s music at soundclick.com are not my type, but give it a try. maybe you’ll like them. click song title above ^

currently listening to: The Cure - Lullaby

   

well so strange that the client we have at work is invading my sleep too!

so yesterday, hours before going to work, my sleep was cut every now and then.. waking up with thoughts of Product XYZ and its variations! and the lingering lines i used to say from our “script”! Aaaahh.. as if talking to invisible invaders!

It was half a nightmare coz the product (fortunately) is something edible.. and yep.. i was almost drowning with a hill-full of XYZ… haaaa! And the only problem i had was.. which to eat! LOL! Oh my.. its affecting me subliminally now!!!

Ok.. bye for now.. I’m going back to dreamland.. and wish that no more XYZ Monsters will invade them!

Music note: sorry no time to upload now. but the link above for The Cure song directs you to the lyrics of the song. For album info, go to AMG

—
cartoon credit: Dave

Antony and the Johnsons - Cripple and the Starfish

Mr. Muscle forcing bursting
Stingy thingy into little me, me, me
But just “ripple” said the cripple
As my jaw dropped to the ground
Smile smile

It’s true I always wanted love to be
Hurtful
And it’s true I always wanted love to be
Filled with pain
And bruises

Yes, so Cripple-Pig was happy
Screamed ” I just compeletely love you!
And there’s no rhyme or reason
I’m changing like the seasons
Watch! I’ll even cut off my finger
It will grow back like a Starfish!
It will grow back like a Starfish!
It will grow back like a Starfish!”

Mr. Muscle, gazing boredly
And he checking time did punch me
And I sighed and bleeded like a windfall
Happy bleedy, happy bruisy

I am very happy
So please hit me
I am very happy
So please hurt me

I am very happy
So please hit me
I am very very happy
So come on hurt me

I’ll grow back like a Starfish
I’ll grow back like a Starfish
I’ll grow back like a Starfish
Like a Starfish..

—

…I just like to share this song.

drop notes: Don’t get fooled by the Artist’s name. This beautifully crafted dark sarcasm overshadows the criticism of those unfamiliar with the avante garde. Reading the lyrics blankly, without listening, would make one wonder what it really meant. This song shows a poignant yearning for healing and redemption, combined with the bittersweet words and striking lines that are strangely unfamiliar for a song.

With a voice like this, imbued with the transcendental emotion of the blues, yet deployed with an unadorned simplicity reminiscent of medieval music practice, and graced with a top note of desperate wonder. One would defenitely see how this song and his others captivates me. Those who know me or read along the same lines as mine.. would agree how deeply this song would strike one’s hidden emotions..

some facts: With backgrounds of being personally asked by Lou Reed, of the Velvet Underground, to make a rendition of “Perfect Day” for his album The Raven, (another one of my faves) and gave a solo turn of “Candy Says” live. Antony even created the melody to one of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem, The Lake. And created boggling songs like “Hitler in My Heart” with such lines as “Don’t punish me/For wanting your love inside of me/And I find Hitler in my heart/From the corpses flowers grow…”.

All in all makes him one of a kind, combining these influences with his being, yes, having androgynous features.

Current Music: Edward Ka-Spel - “The Shadow Box ”
                    

“What Edward Ka-Spel is and does shall forever remain shrouded in mystery. On the surface, Ka-Spel is the lead singer and guiding light behind the Holland-based arcane “pop” combo LEGENDARY PINK DOTS; he also played and lyricized with Skinny Puppy’s cEvin Key under the name TEAR GARDEN.

Beyond that, however, normal words fail to describe this mans’s peculiar charm. Usually inspired by his dreams, this enormously prolific (more than 30 solo releases, and more than 50 with the Dots) artist’s uncanny lyrical content — often disturbing, thus deeply emotional — is coupled with music that also feels like the direct outpouring of a very dark, fantastic dream; it’s Hieronymus Bosch for the ears — an ambiguously eloquent beast who curls up in your consciousness and refuses to leave — and simply not pop or rock or folk or electronic or anything else that easily comes to mind. Ka-Spel has also had a selection of his lyrics, stories, and fragments published in a gorgeous hardcover book, LOVE AND LOUD COLOURS, which includes a cd-single of chillingly beautiful new obsessions, madnesses, and fantasies.”

—John Payne, LA WEEKLY

—
note: Just tired. too tired to post any review for now. Just listening to my fragmented album downloads of Edward Ka-Spel. ..enchantingly beautiful.. hypnotically dark.. captivatingly demented.

yeah, why so gloom? Because 15 days from now is the anniversary of my second life. And By the end of this month, is indeed a count of another year. Another year away from my mom’s departure from this material cruel world. And how ironic that indeed, every December is always a new beginning… hidden in a tragedie.

btw, whoever found a link to the lyrics of the song i share for free download, pls inform me. thanks. a book copy would be nice too.. hehe see.. i still have some % cheeriness.. hmm…