Neko

… yep, despite never being absent for more than 7 months.

The last time I remember being absent was December of last year. And oh my how I survived only being late twice and never absent since then. So ok, I finally decided to take a leave last August 7th, claiming I was “not feeling well”. Technically, I didn’t say I was sick did I? But much to my surprise my boss announced on the floor that “(my name inserted and withheld for security purposes) finally got sick!”

This I heard from some of the callers the next day soon as I came in. Now I wonder, how did he say that? Was it like he was praying for me to get sick? Impossible!

Why impossible you say? Actually I have filed a one week leave 5 months ago for a vacation next month and 5 months ago I remember him agreeing to that, or it seemed much like it. hmmm (?) Well he didn’t protest nor said no when the human resources agreed to my scheduled leave. So technically, that’s a yes huh?

Unfortunately, now that the date is nearing, and after a request in writing was sent (for formality’s sake and to remind everyone) he suddenly blurts out that I cannot take my leave! And I have to reschedule everything! WTF!

Brrr, just give me the space to rant here.. I can’t believe he is saying this! Everybody knows at work (well ok those who actually know me) - where I am going and who I am visiting, and that includes him! So why now? When everything’s in place, where every plan is ironed. And everything has been paid for and no reschedule is possible. Then I get a message that says “frankly, I don’t care really if it is paid or not.” Was he thinking? Doesn’t he know how difficult and time-consuming it is to secure all the papers that were prepared for this? It took months and favors from 3rd parties just to get a hold of all the documents.

Have I not served them well enough to get their money’s worth off me? Doesn’t the drowning schedule of staying up hours after shift and coming way too early before shift just to meet their deadlines and expectations (take note, that these extra hours are without pay) not justify my right to take my leave? This leave that was scheduled and approved 5 months ago!?

People at home are pushing me to resign. There are other companies out there who treat their people with respect and would even pay more. It’s a malicious way of keeping their employees and I am not morally obliged to them or him (my boss) in any way whatsoever! They are actually the ones bound to a signed document of that approval for absence.

But noooooo.. I still had the heart to not leave my projects hanging and just run off and think of myself. I still had the heart to think of training some agents to do my tasks when I am away. I still had the heart to think of the agents who get an almost equally and closer amount of salary to mine than mine compared to other supervisors who tend to not do anything and leave the office on the dot. And yet they get 30% higher salary than me with less than half the work I’m doing. And yet, we are tagged with the same title. And yet, another “and yet” they have used up more than half their leave credits already! And I… yes I (!) never was absent for almost 8 months!

It’s time for me to take a stand. I am not anyone’s rag doll. I used to but I had the energy once before to break off from that. And now I even have a greater strength than ever before! I shall take my leave. Whether they like it or not. It’s my right and it’s their obligation to give an equal treatment to all their employees. This is a well-deserved vacation and I’m too stressed out that I don’t have time for myself anymore. And that this opportunity may not come again – if yes, it will take some time or years even! I don’t wanna let this pass and think of this in the future for another lost “what if”.

If they let me chose, then I will chose my heart. Coz you will never know unless you take that leap!

—–
photo note: “Some days are better than others” by Revisions

…for Love?

Hmm… let me just itemize the things I do in an 8 hour shift, now that there are no more team leaders to assist me:

1. first, decide and print on the seat plan for the day.

2. gather up the agents for some reminders and updates before the start of the shift (sometimes I skip this, thinking the agents are old enough to recall doing the same thing everyday – although some still act childish)

3. check the attendance and send this as an email.

4. email the seat plan to the concerned department.

5. make an average of at least 15 emails in a day – sent to clients, managers and other department heads, of course taking note of the minutes spent in editing and pondering of thoughts.

6. photocopy the forms needed by the agents (if the building administrator is not around – which happens more often than not… zzzz)

7. staple these 40 sets of 15-paged forms plus plus (often tho, I make more than 40 so as not to repeat the same procedure twice in a day)

8. input the details of each complete call as they come – we are averaging 25 to even 40 in a day.

9. collect, sort and organize the appointments set by the few agents assigned to make appointments that will be called by the main outbound agents.

10. if the production for appointments is slow, assist by calling too.

11. answer queries of agents

12. for the past few weeks, one supervisor uses his leaves regularly because of some sickness, so when he calls to ask a favor or errand, I cannot refuse – but I do it with an open mind. (hope he gets well tho – and soon, please!)

13. reply to IM’s online – msn, aol, gmail talk, (some come personal, but much to my regret and most of the time, I tend to ignore them just to cater to the business-related ones) sorry I disabled my yahoo or else I might end up sitting on my cube all day - lol

14. at least double check the consistency of answers on each complete call written on paper, which is 15 pages long. (this one I am guilty of not doing all the time – hey what does T-I-M-E mean again?)

15. make a print out for the collection department, and walk through 2 departments just to go to the printing room on the far corner of the floor. (I find this a waste of time and how I wish the printer is only beside me…or at least have one) And yes, I do this 3-4 times a day.. sometimes even more if I need to print other documents

16. make sure that the cut-off set for collecting these completes for encoding are met twice or even 3 times a day (depending on the amount of completes per hour).

17. lunch break for 30 minutes (pfew! finally!)

18. meet up the agents for 5-10 minutes after the break, for reminders, updates and instructions (this is not mandatory everyday, but with the project we have, it is deemed necessary)

19. go to the other floor, leaving the agents on their own, just to listen to a minimum of 2 sets of 30-minute calls from the recordings which are bound for memos.

20. go back to the floor and call upon the agent doomed for memo or grading and accompany them to be witness on how the agent was graded.

21. go back to the floor again, feeling guilty at times for not having seen the mistakes on the forms and debating to oneself, coz the agents should have checked and/or known that what they wrote was inconsistent and/or wrong.

22. answer more queries of agents

23. update the board on the number of completes, per hour, per agent – so that everybody can see.

24. check the updates online and reply to clients’ emails if necessary

25. monitor the agents on random to check if they are dialing out, or to assist in some calls.

26. 10 minute-break (coffee, tea, or just water[!] and an occasional lucky strike lights [sorry- but I confess..] and toilet time- now don’t forget that) but most of the time I just let this privilege pass coz I have to do more important stuff. – yeah what’s more important than a puff of cigarette that will eventually destroy my lungs huh? What? What? Lol…

27. making sure that no agent goes over-break, sometimes to the point of looking for missing agents only to find some in the break room or under the cubes, sleeping, and yes the building admin is sometimes their sleeping-buddy… zzzz… so there you are!

28. answer the call or IM of a client or a manager.

29. ignore the gossips from behind just because somebody passed by my cube and said hi or chat a little, or even just to bug or punch my chair. (yes, this happens every forking day! Geesh! Haha- fork) – I think I’m hungry… Did I take my lunch? Or did I forget again?

30. be like a watchdog! make my presence felt on the floor by randomly manning the floor, coaching and checking on the agents, sometimes joke with them or catch people not speaking in English or sneaking food – without giving! lol

31. pressure the agents who still have no production for the day by announcing their names one by one – haha! I love this! (I think I’m getting my voice exercised enough – thinking how timid and aloof I used to be back in school)

32. remind the callers that we still have 30 minutes to dial before the end of the shift and they haven’t got enough completes yet. So, no peticks allowed!

33. at the end of the shift, make an announcement for the next scheduled appointments and organize the agents who I will assign for these.

34. collect the tallys and counts per agent

35. update the online count per project, per detail.

36. send out reports to the clients and managers

37. double check the data files, print if needed, and settle things to be done for the following shift.

…. All these are not scheduled yet, if I would write them as how I really do all these, and some repeatedly, you might build a monument for me! Well, they won’t call me Super-Jack Of All Trade-sor for nothing..

Ok, now that I am home, and all that was out (pfew!) time to update the agents schedule to be sent by email now – for payroll. And later, clean the list of 15,000 phone numbers to call for tonight.

Yes, when I have to do something, I tend to distract myself by doing another – at least I know I am still me. lol

—–
photo credits:
“My Desk” by tmertz
“Meltdown” by klycollins
“Dancing on the keyboard” by cypearl
“Work till you drop” by cypearl
“Looking at me” by marlysmand
“A workaholic’s breakfast” by Alex Jacek
“Rawwwwrrrrr!” by massdistraction

This was an overdue post for Last week. The days prior to that has indeed brought a terrifying series of sleeplessness. It might be medical in nature - caused by the unhealthy sleeping habits of night-shift CC employees, or a side-effect of insomnia or could be messages from my sub-conscious.

Monday morning - I dreamt I was alone in the elevator heading for the Penthouse, the top floor of our building. When the doors opened, there was total darkness, except for the faint light coming from the emergency stairs on the far left side of the floor. It silhouetted a big box full of junk things that I couldn’t really distinguish. Then I whispered without moving from my place, “are you there?” But not really pertaining to anyone. Then when there was no answer, I pressed the close button then tried to press the 16th floor.

But to my fright, the panel where all the buttons are placed kept on moving up and down so fast that I was unable to press any button. I was jumping, then bending, just to catch its movement and press the 16th floor! Or any floor for that matter!

History: Rumor has it that in our building, since only a few floors are being used at night, disturbed spirits are roaming the vacant floors. And sometimes these entities even manage to go to our busy floors. But the most terrifiying floor was the 12th floor, which is used as a foreign-language school during the day. They say the heat coming from that floor is caused by a number of entities that stay within.

I normally ignore these rumors but on that day, as scared as hell, the door of the elevator opened at the 12th floor! It was all dark, not even a light from the emergency stairs were on! And when it finally opened wide, I felt a big bump of heavy air crash to me! I screamed and screamed moving my hands and arms in a way as like preventing someone or something invisible from attacking me! Wake.

Writing this now even gives me the goosebumps! Coz after I composed myself when I woke up, I took a shower and saw on my arm a wound slashed to my skin and a black spot like that of a heavy object had hit me.

Tuesday morning (after the Monday night shift) - I dreamt I was piercing my own ear. I was facing a mirror but didn’t looked at my face, only at my ear. I was holding a shiny needle metal then as I closed my eyes, I penetrated the metal through my skin. I didn’t felt any pain. But strangely, I felt my cheek was compelled to move whenever I move the needle. When I opened my eyes I saw on the mirror that it has gone under my skin. It is indside my right cheek! calmly, I pulled the niddle slowly but it took some seconds for me to find out how long the niddle was. It was about 7 inches! But soon as I removed it from my skin, blood squirted out fast uncontrollably! Wake. I was aWaken by my own scream.

Wednesday - I intentionally came home late to prevent from falling asleep. Then I had a light sleep that lasted only less than 4 hours. So either I didn’t dream of anything or didn’t remember my dream when I woke up. Then went to work.

Thursday - I found myself in a yellowish house. Everything I see are in shades of yellow gold and brown. Then I realized I was holding a bottle of holy water. In front of me was a girl hanging from the ceiling. Half her body was stuck to the wall, half was on the ceiling. She was inverted in a way that her tangled long hair drifts almost over me. Her skin was pale, rotten and grotesque. Her white clothes soiled by mud, dirt and dried blood. She had an angry stare beaming to me, saliva dripping from her wide evil grin.

I then dashed her with the holy water, dashing non-stop while I was murmuring chants I am not familiar of. She screams and laughs like metal screeching by every drop of water to her skin, burning her and I smell rotten flesh oozing by the smoke. Suddenly she jumped to me! I felt her weight, felt her wet skin. She was so heavy, it was choking me. Wake.

I woke up sweating. The sun lighting my whole room. It was 4:00 in the afternoon. I never slept after that and waited for the time until I need to go to work.

Friday - I went to my colleague’s house after work. We talked about my strange dreams and let the time pass. I arrived home at around 2:00 thinking I won’t have to suffer those nightmares if I sleep short again.

I fell asleep thinking of not dreaming. Then I saw myself in my room with a bigger bed. Beside me was a male friend younger than me. He was asleep. By the floor I saw 2 other guys sleeping. Then one stood up, it was Mr. Bad News! He was calling me whispering that we should transfer to another room. I refused because I don’t want to wake up the others. And I saw that the other one sleeping beside him was My Moogie! Then he woke up and called to me. I followed him then we went to the other room while my arms wrapped around his right arm. Mr. Bad News got frustrated!

While Moogie and I were cuddling in a couch, Mr. Bad News suddenly burst out of my room! And tried to stab me! I saw his unspeakable empty stare that was all too familiar. His eyes darted to mine sending me chills to my spine! I felt my whole body numb and stiff. He tried to attack, but there were alot of people around. They all yelled and prevented him to move close to us. The mob blocked him and I was screaming with fright! Crying while my hands covered my face both from shame and sadness. Wake.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. I hugged my pillow so tight. Then I opened my radio and listened to the first CD I could get my hands on. I opened it real loud but I couldn’t hear the tune and the song. I just know that something was playing but I don’t understand. I was listening to emptiness while I stare to my blue ceiling until the sun has set.

Then I heard a knock to my door. It was time for me to get ready to go to work.

Weekend now just passed, and no nightmares yet. So far…

—–
photo credits: (in order of appearance)
+ “falling elevator” by Tsunami Notes
+ untitled by p.h.y
+ “crucified” by Confusedvision
+ untitled by Sasha Prince

The first comp erotic chat.
It started with a forwarded sms…

Boy: “Daddy? How did I come into this world?”
Dad: “listen carefully. Mom and Dad met each other in a cyber cafe. In the restrooms of that cyber cafe, Dad connected to Mom. Mom at that time made some downloads from Dad’s memory stick. When Dad finished uploading we discovered we did not use a firewall. Since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up with a virus”

Geek Girl: maybe someday you will have to use this for an answer too. hehehe when your kid ask
Geek Guy: hope that dad is allowed to upload more! because the memory capacity of mom is endless hehe
Geek Girl: well as long as mom’s cache is not loaded
Geek Guy: tssk!
Geek Girl: well mine isn’t loaded. and you just need to click refresh
Geek Guy: white as the google start page i give hehe
Geek Girl: well hmm.. should i disable my firewall then? but still think we need the anti-spyware. dont want others to watch us
Geek Guy: hope at least one program more is made. with my input and your transforming caring attention it must be a wonderful product
Geek Girl: mmm yes and not a virus
Geek Guy: but we sure need fans! to prevent overheating… imagine how much damage that can cause
Geek Girl: ohh yeah and especially when we tend to be so hot. might overheat. and a fuse might explode!
Geek Guy: yeah! so open your drive babe
Geek Girl: ohh love to feel the explosions inside
Geek Guy: let me fill it with a full cd
Geek Girl: no need to click a button? maybe that button is waiting to be touched by those fingers
Geek Guy: no time to waste lets startup! read my cd honey or scan it with your hot beam…
Geek Girl: ohhh i feel your cd circling inside mmmm
Geek Guy: lazer my numbers..
Geek Girl: 10111010101110101010001010111
Geek Guy: read my 1 and 0 and hummm then you feel they match as my numbers, harmony with your warm inside reader
Geek Girl: its all penetrating from my 0 and your 1
Geek Guy: but i haven’t injected you yet my ink is still in the cartridge. let me print that white paper
Geek Girl: well don’t spill the ink on the hardware
Geek Guy: dont stop caressing the inject mouth it might get full
Geek Girl: ohh i wont stop. mixing the ink so deep cant wait to taste that white product
Geek Girl: mmmm and how i love that on button its red. and i can hear the bzzzzzzttt bzzzzzttt of the printer now
Geek Guy: i love to caress that shiny warm round light. sometimes you almost see the fingerprints
Geek Girl: you tickle me
Geek Guy: i make my finger moist and rub it. i hear the fan hummm and hummm
Geek Girl: don’t stop and the screen flashes its hyper-threading seven times faster than non-HT
Geek Guy: as you take that stick in, and suck all its info out of it
Geek Girl: slooow downloads fast uploads. well I’m dial up and your DSL thats why. but let it hang a bit. love to feel the warmth inside while it stops.
Geek Guy: still we have such a perfect connection
Geek Girl: and after a few seconds move your cursor up touch my red X. click the X babe its still there.. it hang so click it some more
Geek Guy: oooh babe let me give all the data i have
Geek Girl: double click while your uploading
Geek Guy: XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX
Geek Girl: xxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxx
Geek Girl: 90% complete now… mmmm 92.. 94
Geek Girl: mmmmmm 96 cummminnn
Geek Girl: 99%
Geek Girl: oohhh Over heat! beep beep beep!
Geek Guy: release data. circuits vibrating. fans on topspeed
Geek Girl: now time to save
Geek Guy: a blanc hard disc space is filled now. let me stay a while, my role is out you do the translation now
Geek Girl: no time for blue screens. and drive is opening to let the cd out
Geek Guy: or an erased HD, now even windows will work on me again
Geek Girl: safely remove hardware now. oh, it’s wet!
Geek Guy: ooooh leaking valubale data be careful. let me plug out
Geek Girl: then time to lick those.. no data should be wasted
Geek Guy: time to turn the switch. but i really hope we are connected soon again!
Geek Girl: well we can reconnect now.. download a second time
Geek Guy: let me put a safe cover over the comp to protect it against dust and dirt. i still feel that warmth.. in my box
Geek Guy: what you didn’t know i read your disc too i installed a little secret program that transfered valuable info about your circuits
Geek Girl: so now that secret program might grow in a few months time?
Geek Guy: i can monitor your moves how you tread things. but i hope my data result in that!
Geek Girl: well don’t worry I’ll take care of the data with all my power supply and protect it with the best anti-virus from Cnet
Geek Guy: I know! but be sure to put the comp off now and then to much other programs running could slow the growth of more valuable programs
Geek Girl: ohh i wont multi-task too much if thats needed! and no porn sites for you that has pop-ups. its gonna disturb the growing program
Geek Guy: you have the sweetest motherboard thats for sure! all those sweet connections those various thingies which i don’t know the english name for… but its all in one perfect harmony

And the file transfer was unqueued the second time…
short circuits.
system overload.
crash…

—
photo credit: “Geek girl on the bedroom” by: Liberoliber

  

NO, this is not my “peticks” time. And yes, peticks is a call center term. It means killing time by not doing calls or pretending to do something to let time pass. So when somebody declares he is in a “peticks mode” then his mind shuts down or hybernates and his hands automatically moves ala-Edward Scissorhands while his voicebox mechanically produces scripted lines as if programed on auto-pilot.

And yep, ok I am guilty of being on peticks mode when I was a caller. But technically, I am in a different level of peticks this very minute. Mainly, because I am thinking of what to write in my report while my fingers tickers with keyboards in another browser. My Blogsome browser. hehe..

Ok, so I am like that. I tend to temporarily escape the pressure by doing something else, but still capable of meeting the deadline. Ok, a moment please, while I TAB to my other excell file. lol

See, done. geesh. And oh my its time.. end of shift now. woeha! We will have breakfast with my colleagues at a nearby Eat-All-You-Can resto. hello carbs and insomnia..

And since I havent posted anything in this blog for some time, I guess old habbits are hard to quit huh..

—–
photo credit: “Buhay Call Center” (Call Center Life) by BlueRiff

Gee, I woke up at 3am. I opened my pc then realized I don’t have internet pre-paid. I knocked on my sister’s door, (who promised to buy one for me as she went out last night) but she apologized for forgetting. I got my money back. But I’d rather pay her double just to hand me a card.

It’s too late to buy one now. All stores are closed. And due to my lack of time, I even don’t have load to sms abroad. Geesh! I’m so pathetic! So I just sulk in the corner of my room. lol

I calculated the time to find out that I have slept more than the usual. ohh what a waste, i thought. This is the downward/effect of those insomnia attacks I had for weeks! And there is so much to do, so much to read, so much to talk about… and so much time lost by going to work at night. brr…

And now all I want is enough load to call.. not that I don’t have the money, I just don’t have time to buy stuff.

Anyway, to burn off the time until stores open here, I picked up one of the books I bought last cut off sale at National Bookstore. Another thing, it was a rush bargain. the sale lasted for weeks, but due to my work eating so much of my time, leaving only a forth of a day as free hours, I totally forgot the yearly sale. oh.. 20-70% on all books! (read: ALL BOOKS!)

And I was only able to storm all isles in just one store, 5 hours before closing time, of the last day of sale! sniiff

So I ended up buying only 3 books.
1) Story of O - Pauline Réage
2) Harold Pinter’s Complete Works Vol.1 (1954-1960)
3) The Lost Boy - Dave Pelzer

Yeah, I wrote about Story of O a few days back, and I must confess I haven’t finished it yet. But instead of grabbing it, I got The Lost Boy and consumed only a few hours before I finally flipped the last page, and the back cover shut.

Erm, it was ok. But I was expecting more. I guess, reading the first book of Pelzer, A Child Called It, made me thought the sequel was equally horrific. Especially, reading the lines at the back cover, and I quote,

“As a child, Dave never had a real home. Rescued from an alcoholic mother.. the only world he knew was one of isolation and fear.. There were those who felt that all foster kids were trouble -unworthy of love- and resented his presence, forcing him to suffer yet more shame.”

But not that I was dismayed at what happened in the story, it’s an autobiography.. so reality-wise it should sound realistic too. And it did.

I guess the first book left that hanging question of why did such a young child receive so much abuse? And well, still haven’t got the answer on the sequel, but it left you the feeling of not bothering to dig up the reason, but to just move on.

But going back to the first book, A Child Called ‘It’. The book was just so unbelievable that it breaks your heart reading what horrible things the little boy suffered under the hands of his own mother. And yep, at first, I recommended this book to everyone I know who wants to cry while reading. Tho strangely, none of them shed a tear while reading. Ok, that was strange. When I was reading the first book, all I did was cry while flipping the pages. And a mere handkerchief is not enough to absorb all my tears, I even used a shirt! And I can openly declare that no other book made me cry so much as this!

Geesh, what’s up with me? Either I am easily moved or all 5 people who I know read this book were hard. As stone.

The owner of that book claimed she didn’t cry but felt sorry for the child. She then passed it on to a male colleague, who didn’t admit if it made him cry, but he listed this as one of his fave books, a female colleague read it next, while in a party (thus, excuses her for not being able to cry), then came me, I read it and wham! It shook me off so much I immediately passed it on to my mother, erm, step-mother. After that, an aunt and a cousin, and now it’s with a female friend.

None of them cried. What?!

And the scary part is, step mom said “it’s a one-sided story. Maybe there is a reason why the mom was so mean. Maybe he was really a bad boy. She was nice to other kids.” (Even if!)

As she said that, I felt my eyes grew wide, and I sensed she saw it and she immediately retracted her comment by saying “maybe the kid was the dad’s son from another woman and the dad did something again that’s why she was mad at the boy.” (But, hey, even if!)

Even if the boy was so bad, or he was someone else’s son, that’s not enough reason, actually there is no enough reason, for a young boy to be treated that way! Not even anyone! Nobody deserved to be treated that way! It’s merely inhuman! And the mom of Dave, I must say, is so horrible and disturbing! And she felt no remorse! (I don’t want to spoil the story by listing the things she has done to her son tho)

FACT: The case of Dave Pelzer is the third worst case of child abuse in the state of CA, that time.

I could not even imagine what it was like for the other two!

But I didn’t show these reactions to her.. I just felt the urge to read the sequel then to prove her wrong. But when I read the second book, I doubt if I should pass it to her. The Lost Boy didn’t really place the mom in a way as the first did. Now she might think her acts were justifiable.

Erm, for now I have to watch my moves around her then, and watch hers too.

Hmm.. maybe I’m over-reacting and paranoid, I lack sleep or over-slept, or just freaking out coz I don’t have net access, but read the book and you might understand.

—
photo credit: “5 AM” by kargadan

Hmm… Melody with Robin Guthrie… now that, I’m not surprised to see. I knew the first day i saw them play live, someday such a talent, will bring her somewhere.

Sugar Hiccup. The only local band who almost gained equal grounds to that of Cocteau Twins in this country. Well, ok for starters, Cocteau Twins aren’t popular in the Ph. It can’t even be counted in statistics how much percent of the population knew them, less those who knew them and didn’t like them that much. I guess, Goth will never be, and is never bound to fame - here in the Ph. (That is actually a positive comment). Well, what can i say? Sugar Hiccup is, if not the only, the first ethereal group in the Ph that had an album under a major label.

Ok, if asked now, i know i have not enough knowledge about the present local music scene. Pff! But, ‘Underground’ and ‘Alternative’ remains to be but a cliche here. And dreampop is starting to be a widespread misinterpretation. Blah Blah..

Hmm.. so why am i writing about a band formed in 1994 that had their first album a year later, then disappeared from the limelight a few years after the second album? Well, its because the stupid ones who thought they were a one-hit-wonder suddenly invades my private space.

I never got tired of their song “Five Years” but that’s not the only song they have. Yes, they are under-rated. Such a talent hiding from the populace. That makes them even more amazing! But, they are not “underground” and they need not any lyrics to prove what they are about.

Rant rant rave insane blah! Well, it’s just that a colleague who formerly laughed at my choice of music when they heard it from my pc, who said i listen to songs that makes you feel you wanna commit suicide the next day (not that i am offended by that, i instead felt thankful he/they didn’t like it and i need not explain and lecture them of what i am into), suddenly asks about Sugar Hiccup and suddenly hums ‘Five Years’ while dialing to call those Managers at work.

Whaaaat??!!

It was irritating when at the same week, he was singing a Micheal Bolton-ish thingy. I dunno who sang the song he was reeking.. i just know that, that is NOT music! haaaa… (so?! any violent reactions?!)

The immunity to those kind of songs being played loud, inevitably came to me when i started working at my present job. One has to place imaginary earplugs and daydream they exsisted to “unhear” what they are singing. It’s like you’re so sick of hearing the “Pinoy Big Brother” theme you suddenly appreciate the sound of voice mail box beeps instead, and find it amusing.

The thing is, its me and my big mouth i wanna shut too.

He was transferred next to my cube last night and bugged me about “how much do i know about Sugar Hiccup”… i first replied “you know, that’s why internet was invented in the first place. For research. Do you see a modem attached to me?”

The only reply I got was a blank stare.

Ok, i think he suddenly forgot what a modem is.

Good.

Ha!

But after a while, there he is again.. “what was the only line in the song?” I played dumb by asking what song. Oh, yeah Five Years.. I didnt answer and pretended i was on a call.

“They sound good, but i wish they sing more clear lyrics” I pretended not to hear that. But deep inside.. grrrrrr

Then after a few complete calls, there he is again.. Do they have an album? I said none, so he will shut up. But instead he probed about what other songs do i know they have. That’s it! I said the have compilations with other bands. And my accidental answering made him more interested.

“They have a cool name for a band. Where do you think they got that? My mom said when you have hiccups, a spoonful of sugar cures it”

Wanna play naive eh? Sure! So i said “oh, wasn’t it that a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down?” Haaa! Now my readers know how old i am coz of that last line. (Yeah, it’s from Mary Poppins)

He said “NO?” with one eyebrow up, and a tone like wondering what i meant of that. He didn’t get it, so i just said “maybe your mom knows all your questions, why don’t you ask her?”

Then he threw me a piece of paper rolled as the size of a pencil’s eraser.

Grr! “This means war!”

Ok, to be able to make this 19-year-old stop bugging me, i blurted “Shut up, they got it from a song of Cocteau Twins ok!”

YIKES!

For a teener, he sure knows how to “probe for an answer”. haaa!

To cut the long discussion short, he asked me to burn him songs of Cocteau Twins! WHAAAT?? NO WAY!

“I don’t believe you dont have anything of that band.”

I said their first album was when i was merely 2 years old. so i dont have that. lol.. now that’s convincing (sarcatic tone) haa!

Well, today I didn’t show up at our Saturday overtime, i hope on Monday he forgets it. And I should just sleep this over huh?

Yeah..

—
related links:
Sugar Hiccup on AMG
Oracle / Womb - Albums of Sugar Hiccup

album where the song
“Sugar and Hiccup” can be heard :

  Exactly a year ago was the last comment posted on an entry I wrote entitled “…being single sucks” well, well, a year have passed now, and do I have an answer to that? So, does it? Or does it not?

Strangely, I wrote it in significance of the date I posted it at Twisted. [note that everytime I mention “Twisted” meant its my other blog, ok. pls refer to the links at the side] BUt that day have passed this year without me even noticing it. Well, that’s a good sign actually. Er, not for a memory gap tho, but for the fact that I have totally recovered from a grief that have surpassed my life.

Yes, I am getting mellow-dramtic here. It’s just that time of year where one realizes that after the passing of another year, when reflecting to what have happened in recent years, the question also lingers… what have I done with my life?

Hmm.. maybe this is what they call birthday blues.

Or yet, maybe, I just lack some sleep! I’ve been having insomnia attacks for the past few days now. To define, it’s different from what I call “the velvet syndrome” where one experiences the cross between having a panic-attack and laziness. (ok, now imagine how is that - i leave it to your own disgression)

The insomnia attacks I’m having, I noticed, are those times where I only have 2-3 hours of sleep a day and manages to survive throughout the night.. making about 200-300 calls per night, meaning 8 hours shift. And for the last 2 days, we even have overtime for 2 hours each day. So, a total of 10 hours calling non-stop, except for breaks, and short briefings. ANd even if it’s suppose to be a non-working Holiday on monday (US Labor Day), we have overtime on Saturday night, technically, just an offset of said day.. Tsk! I even have 2 colleagues who literally got sick. As in fever and extreme headaches! And it’s a miracle that I don’t feel any changes in my physical stability. Oha! Maybe, it’s gonna attack my mind! See, I think this post is getting further from my topic in the beginning… and I hope I’m still making sense here.

I’m waiting for my eyes to fall.. for my head to fall… to feel dizzy.. but none! And it’s already 4:30 in the afternoon, and I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours now. again!

My colleague who is taking up Law while working, is openly stating how envious she is with my insomnia. Well, I tell her she shouldn’t wish for it! Funny tho, that given that I’m having these lack of sleep, my eyes do not have eyebugs like that of most of my colleagues (who even manages to sleep 5-6 hours a day). Gee, imagine how some go home looking like zombies! Well, that’s what you get for working at graveyard shifts… It’s not called “graveyard” for nothing. Ha!

Life is like that here in Manila! Everything is so fast-paced. ONe minute your studying a project, the next you’re rusing for deadlines! And however often we tell ourselves that “there is life outside the workplace”, it just so happens that most of the time, the life outside would only be for sleep. Maybe that’s what my mind and body rejects and manifests to unaccept, making me have these insomnia attacks. (Gee, I should be a psychologist)

Anyway, to wrap up what I need to say, I came across this thought today…

The times they are a changing, as Bob Dylan says. You just need to wait a bit longer. In the end, it doesn’t matter how long (or fast) it took to get there, only that you arrived! But the question is, Where do you wanna go?

That, my dear readers, is what we should determine if not now, soon.

—
note: photo credit- Broken Wires 3 by iGrrl

  

SATURDAY 8AM. Back from work, went straight to bed, woke up at 11AM, noisy neighbors with voices echo in the house, opened my PC, full volumed my headset, experimented on a camera toss photo-turned-illo, posted at Twisted Thoughts.

2PM. A Balikbayan box arrived, came from my Grandparents, I got one of 2 packs of Pistachios, ate bread and banana, went to bed at 4, woke up at 7.

10PM. Another overtime at work. Jollibee for “lunch” (technically we call it lunch even if it’s 12 midnight), 19 complete calls for the shift, and a blocked internet acceess (unless you know the password, which is not such a secret to me, erm! Well, useless net access if you’re swamped, catching a deadline, with or without trying to crack the password).

SUNDAY 6AM. End of shift. I was introduced to a trainee whose father is a National Artist, showed her my Artworks online, (nothing compared to her oil paintings esp of her father! Gee.. I think I found a new friend), gave her my URL, promised to help her create a blog on Monday, gave her some of my pistachios.

8AM back at home. My sister showed her 6-Seasons-DVDs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., made some tea, grabbed my pistachios and spinned the DVDs one at a time. Glued to my seat, watching, Laughing Out Loud for hours.

Noon. paused the player, 2-minute break to get food, back to the couch, clicked play, lauged until sunset. Last episodes, Rachel about to give birth, after Thanksgiving, Bradd Pitt as guest, Ross rollerblades while teaching, Phoebe dumped weird bf “santa-clause-on-prozac-in-Disneyland”.

24 hours awake. oopies. more than. makes one sound, like a robot. bleep bleep.

ok now im off to bed, my eyes couldnt take it anymore.

AND Lastly, this I wanna watch: (A great addition to the 10-cd box set of Billie Holiday that was given to me*.*)

IMDb Movie of the Day
She looked nothing like Billie Holiday and sang nothing like Billie Holiday, yet Diana Ross gave a phenomenal performance as the jazz legend in Lady Sings the Blues, a surprisingly effective biopic that heralded the former Supreme as a true screen presence. Loosely based on Holiday’s autobiography, the movie played fast and loose with the facts of Holiday’s life, so much so that many jazz fans, scholars and amateurs alike, cried foul at the absence of innumerable people who helped launch Lady Day’s career. At almost two and a half hours the movie was far too long, yet it was held together by the waiflike Ross, who received able support from Billy Dee Williams and a young Richard Pryor. Despite little resemblance to the woman she was portraying, Ross had one major thing in common with Holiday: star quality, and tons of it… read more>> [Movie of the Day Archive]

Today I came home past 5am. A few hours after the end of shift. I mentioned in a former post [read here] how my work, colleagues and the over-all ambiance of my work was so fun.. but today, a bad news slightly shook us, well half of us that is.

Due to our new campaign (or project), the floor was basically divided to two groups, to form a friendly competitive feel intended to add up our production for a day. We were having fun during calling, however difficult others see it, for one, I am with the group with the higher number of complete calls. But aside from that, some of us played a game to wake the sleepy and the bored, diverting our slowly-turning-to-zombie minds a.k.a. “compulsory-insomnia” from listening to voice mail boxes and disconnected lines.

When somebody whispers “this means war” it meant, somebody threw the first pencil eraser or a small rolled up pinch-size of paper. We had invented a war game! hehe… sneaking up miniature cannon balls over the cubes of callers. Unsuspecting or anticipating it, hitting the face, the forehead, or on cross-eyed throws: hitting nothing but the table or the floor! ha! at least it was an ice-breaker. And when someone completed a call we all threw him our “cannon balls”. It’s all against each other! Soldier against soldier! ha!! (well, ok, only about 5 of us from the same group) And on the first day, a couple of hours before the end of shift, 2 from the other group joined in. It was like this for only a few days til now. Yeah, so “high school” huh. And when it’s break time, we call it a “ceasefire”.

And yep, we know there are cameras looming over us, who cares! we have more complete calls, there is nothing to protest about. And one would only do it if he is sleepy or sees another who is.

But today, one ’soldier’ met his contract’s end. He didn’t pass the final evaluation and after 6 months with us, he didn’t become a regular employee.

He was a good man. He was helpful and a friend you can really count on, even outside the office. A foolish-romantic but loyal, both to his girl, and to his friends. Too bad for the company I know they just lost a good caller. But not too bad for him, for it opens new doors for opportunity, maybe he’ll even get that music break he always wanted! Who knows!

“One man down, a good soldier out”

But here is a salute to his integrity as a friend, a colleague and a soldier.
Goodbye Brother! We will miss you and your crazy cool antics!

And a few days from now, a new batch of colleagues will have their evaluation. I wish them the best!

—
note: during my absence in the blogsphere, I too underwent that evaluation, and luckily, I passed. So here I am, assured to have no nights at home except on weekends. (meaning no free internet connection after midnight - sniif especially now that my moogie*.* is back at his homebase) Oh well, at least I got a raise! Tho still, I’d rather talk to him. OK, now that’s another story.