Neko

… yep, despite never being absent for more than 7 months.

The last time I remember being absent was December of last year. And oh my how I survived only being late twice and never absent since then. So ok, I finally decided to take a leave last August 7th, claiming I was “not feeling well”. Technically, I didn’t say I was sick did I? But much to my surprise my boss announced on the floor that “(my name inserted and withheld for security purposes) finally got sick!”

This I heard from some of the callers the next day soon as I came in. Now I wonder, how did he say that? Was it like he was praying for me to get sick? Impossible!

Why impossible you say? Actually I have filed a one week leave 5 months ago for a vacation next month and 5 months ago I remember him agreeing to that, or it seemed much like it. hmmm (?) Well he didn’t protest nor said no when the human resources agreed to my scheduled leave. So technically, that’s a yes huh?

Unfortunately, now that the date is nearing, and after a request in writing was sent (for formality’s sake and to remind everyone) he suddenly blurts out that I cannot take my leave! And I have to reschedule everything! WTF!

Brrr, just give me the space to rant here.. I can’t believe he is saying this! Everybody knows at work (well ok those who actually know me) - where I am going and who I am visiting, and that includes him! So why now? When everything’s in place, where every plan is ironed. And everything has been paid for and no reschedule is possible. Then I get a message that says “frankly, I don’t care really if it is paid or not.” Was he thinking? Doesn’t he know how difficult and time-consuming it is to secure all the papers that were prepared for this? It took months and favors from 3rd parties just to get a hold of all the documents.

Have I not served them well enough to get their money’s worth off me? Doesn’t the drowning schedule of staying up hours after shift and coming way too early before shift just to meet their deadlines and expectations (take note, that these extra hours are without pay) not justify my right to take my leave? This leave that was scheduled and approved 5 months ago!?

People at home are pushing me to resign. There are other companies out there who treat their people with respect and would even pay more. It’s a malicious way of keeping their employees and I am not morally obliged to them or him (my boss) in any way whatsoever! They are actually the ones bound to a signed document of that approval for absence.

But noooooo.. I still had the heart to not leave my projects hanging and just run off and think of myself. I still had the heart to think of training some agents to do my tasks when I am away. I still had the heart to think of the agents who get an almost equally and closer amount of salary to mine than mine compared to other supervisors who tend to not do anything and leave the office on the dot. And yet they get 30% higher salary than me with less than half the work I’m doing. And yet, we are tagged with the same title. And yet, another “and yet” they have used up more than half their leave credits already! And I… yes I (!) never was absent for almost 8 months!

It’s time for me to take a stand. I am not anyone’s rag doll. I used to but I had the energy once before to break off from that. And now I even have a greater strength than ever before! I shall take my leave. Whether they like it or not. It’s my right and it’s their obligation to give an equal treatment to all their employees. This is a well-deserved vacation and I’m too stressed out that I don’t have time for myself anymore. And that this opportunity may not come again – if yes, it will take some time or years even! I don’t wanna let this pass and think of this in the future for another lost “what if”.

If they let me chose, then I will chose my heart. Coz you will never know unless you take that leap!

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photo note: “Some days are better than others” by Revisions