Neko

  Exactly a year ago was the last comment posted on an entry I wrote entitled “…being single sucks” well, well, a year have passed now, and do I have an answer to that? So, does it? Or does it not?

Strangely, I wrote it in significance of the date I posted it at Twisted. [note that everytime I mention “Twisted” meant its my other blog, ok. pls refer to the links at the side] BUt that day have passed this year without me even noticing it. Well, that’s a good sign actually. Er, not for a memory gap tho, but for the fact that I have totally recovered from a grief that have surpassed my life.

Yes, I am getting mellow-dramtic here. It’s just that time of year where one realizes that after the passing of another year, when reflecting to what have happened in recent years, the question also lingers… what have I done with my life?

Hmm.. maybe this is what they call birthday blues.

Or yet, maybe, I just lack some sleep! I’ve been having insomnia attacks for the past few days now. To define, it’s different from what I call “the velvet syndrome” where one experiences the cross between having a panic-attack and laziness. (ok, now imagine how is that - i leave it to your own disgression)

The insomnia attacks I’m having, I noticed, are those times where I only have 2-3 hours of sleep a day and manages to survive throughout the night.. making about 200-300 calls per night, meaning 8 hours shift. And for the last 2 days, we even have overtime for 2 hours each day. So, a total of 10 hours calling non-stop, except for breaks, and short briefings. ANd even if it’s suppose to be a non-working Holiday on monday (US Labor Day), we have overtime on Saturday night, technically, just an offset of said day.. Tsk! I even have 2 colleagues who literally got sick. As in fever and extreme headaches! And it’s a miracle that I don’t feel any changes in my physical stability. Oha! Maybe, it’s gonna attack my mind! See, I think this post is getting further from my topic in the beginning… and I hope I’m still making sense here.

I’m waiting for my eyes to fall.. for my head to fall… to feel dizzy.. but none! And it’s already 4:30 in the afternoon, and I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours now. again!

My colleague who is taking up Law while working, is openly stating how envious she is with my insomnia. Well, I tell her she shouldn’t wish for it! Funny tho, that given that I’m having these lack of sleep, my eyes do not have eyebugs like that of most of my colleagues (who even manages to sleep 5-6 hours a day). Gee, imagine how some go home looking like zombies! Well, that’s what you get for working at graveyard shifts… It’s not called “graveyard” for nothing. Ha!

Life is like that here in Manila! Everything is so fast-paced. ONe minute your studying a project, the next you’re rusing for deadlines! And however often we tell ourselves that “there is life outside the workplace”, it just so happens that most of the time, the life outside would only be for sleep. Maybe that’s what my mind and body rejects and manifests to unaccept, making me have these insomnia attacks. (Gee, I should be a psychologist)

Anyway, to wrap up what I need to say, I came across this thought today…

The times they are a changing, as Bob Dylan says. You just need to wait a bit longer. In the end, it doesn’t matter how long (or fast) it took to get there, only that you arrived! But the question is, Where do you wanna go?

That, my dear readers, is what we should determine if not now, soon.

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note: photo credit- Broken Wires 3 by iGrrl