sliding away..
Bonjour! (pronounced: Bong-zhoor) i think im having migranes.
After the first meeting of my French class today, i went home beat up. by the rain and my coughs. My nose was literally dripping during class! And i have to cover it with a lampin. i cant blow my nose right there, and i cant miss a thing the prof was teaching, so i have to wait til break time to finally put all that gutt off my nose! aaahh.. the echo in the empty corridors!
The class was ok but i dont have enough energy to talk about that today.. what more look back on my notes. Tho, here’s a short pre-view: We were actually more than 25 students, ranging from college freshmen to bum (one claimed he liked to study this lang coz he has nothing else to do.. lol) to biz pros, to bank employees to international company babies.. well to yeah a pretend “freelance web-designer slash writer” haaa!! *coughs*
oh goid, my splitting headache…
when i move or stand or even raise my head a bit.. its like feeling soda bubbles gushing from the back of my neck up to my head!! ahh.. need aspirin. tssk. there’s no aspirin in this fookin house!! its not a popular brand here. most people use Biogesic to cure anything. duh! well, might as well have that. better than nothing. it has no side effects anyway…
sleep? yeah i hear some whispers now.. go back to bed.. its freakin 3 am! Well, i cant sleep.. coz actually my mobile’s been buggin me.. first two missed calls from that friendster frend i have. then his strange sms after saying he’s afraid of what he’s feeling and i asked what he was feeling:
”i dont know what u txt kc naguguluhan ak.
Mixd thoughts. Nahihiya ako, nagagalit, natatakot,
na iinlove, nanghihinayang.”
sent: 24-Sept-2005
02:50:57
”Im sori i wake u up. BUt i just got d guts u txt u this.” - 02:57:03
”natatakot akong magpakita sayo, kausapin ka” - 03:09:42
”Im still weak, im still lonely. Ako parin ung taong
hndi m maipagmamalaki at hndi m mamahalin ng lubusan.
Gaya ng dati. Natatakot akong mainlove uli.” - 03:12:13
”Pro sa loob loob k, gusto ktang makita, makausap.
Maging malapit uli sayo. Gs2 kong isipin k.” - 03:16:16
”Mrami nang ngbago sakin. Pero hndi na ko nainlove after
nang huli nting kta. Naging kumplikado na ang mga buhay ntin.
Masaya ko pro hndi ak kntento” - 03:12:22
no space for new messages full inbox. need to erase. need to blow my nose. brb
eew. green! yuck! awooooch… my head!!
toot toot… huh? more?!
”i miss u so. Its making me sad.” - 03:28:08
”Im sori i hav u tel u all about this.I cnt help it,
Im nt ok ryt now.Im misin u & im lonely.
Im scared and confused.Im hapi i found u
once again.Pls smile.Gudnyt” - 03:36:08
Actually i dunno what to say so i didnt reply to any of the sms.. i dont like him to expect anything but friendship. right now im afraid of commitments and afraid of myself. i dunno what things i am capable of doing. i dont want to hurt him but i do not feel anything right now. i wanna feel that “butterflies in the stomach” i wanna feel crazy.. i wanna run… but at the same time i am pessimistic about things. about life. we make our own realities, yeah, and there’s so much reality that i wanna make right now. i still dunno why im taking this fookin French class, as if im actually going to Paris. knock.knock. your sis was even denied her US Visa, when she works with an American company.. duh.. owns a condo and getting married next year. What more me? im am nothing, my work is worthless and i dont even earn half of what shes’s earning. i need 3 points more to pass the Canada migration thing, that i only took the free assesment for kicks, and im not sure what job i will have when i actually pursue it.
im looking for.. wait, scrap that.. im waiting… for love in all the wrong places, and wanted to expect something from someone, living across the globe, and not capable like i am. i feel sorry and shy to the history prof who used to vsit my other blog, i know i owe him an appology but i dint know why. i feel disgustedly irritated with my last talk with the man who started me blogging. and in turn i know he is too thats why we never spoke again. and i wanna get my full revenge at j. but i dont wanna see him anymore but im such a weakling when it comes to him asking favors. i wanna fool him but i feel i am violated, but not. oh, and yeah, i mix reality with dreams most of the time. confusing??
He (the one who sent the sms..) would not like to step into my realm. nobody actually, will have the guts to take it.
im such a loser… and yeah, thats why i called it twisted.
I'd like to go ... go ... see what I can find I'd like to get ... out of here ... just leave it all behind ... I'd like to visit all the pictures I have in my mind
It makes me feel alright when I see how they shine
Somehow I always get it wrong
I guess I knew all along
The tide that pulled me is too strong
Top 50 Albums of All Time
walanjo! ako din madalas magka mingraine…
abah sis……..na twist nga ako dito sa diary mo ahhhh……hmmmmmmmmmmm pag-ibig nga naman….
anyway
umikot ang paningin ko at feeling ko sa susunod na araw ako naman magkaka migraine……
ohhhhhhh sana sweet revenge sana ang mangyari at patutunguhan kay j………i mean kung nasaktan ka ng todo aanihin ng goodness ang bawat binuhos mong luha …..awwwwwwwwwwwww ako nga nung nasaktan ako sa aking mga….”old rains” i dunno…iyak lang ako ng iyak …………..
so much with this…..soon makakatagpo ka din ng karapat dapat at katapat ng “heart” mo.
*hugs* na lang okay
Comment by lws — September 25, 2005 @ 8:50 pm
at siyangapala pag will ni God na mapunta ka dito sa canada kita kits tayo or pag nakapagbakasyon kami dyan sa pinas kita kits tayo.
okay:)
Comment by lws — September 25, 2005 @ 8:53 pm
copy paste email sa ‘kin ng isang kaibigan actually forward email ng isang kaibigan ko sa manila.
Put Down Your Burdens
A professor was giving a lecture to his students on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”
The students’ answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.
“It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
“If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier.”
“What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again.”
We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.
So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can.
Pick it up again later when you have rested… Rest and relax.
Life is short, enjoy it!
ang masasabi ko lang mahirap e-enjoy ang buhay pag may migraine…..waaaaaa:P
Comment by lws — September 25, 2005 @ 9:02 pm
wahhaaha.. oo nga.. migrane
.. pfff…
anyway, thanks for all the comments sis. indeed.. i know this is a cliche but works sometimes… “things happen for a reason” and “if it is meant to be, it is meant to be”.. ok hope that draws some positive energy… hehe.. and hmm ok na ko today migrane stopped. hmm.. gotta lessen my time in fron tof the pc tho
Comment by velvet — September 26, 2005 @ 3:55 am
oh yeah.. kita kits tayo and ang ganda ng email ng friend mo ha!
Comment by velvet — September 26, 2005 @ 3:59 am
[wonders what language they are speaking]
Comment by Eric Mutta — September 27, 2005 @ 12:12 am
Comment by velvet — September 29, 2005 @ 1:04 am