Neko

Catergory: rants - yeah this is a rant to myself!

now i feel very very very super guilty!! (here’s a line we used to say when i was in elementary school ~ super duper hyper mega ultra guilty!) ok, handcuff me and lock me in the closet! im such a liar.. well.. actually i wasnt “technically” lying.. i was just keeping a secret… and ooohh the torment! i cant take it anymore not telling him… about this blog.

somebody hasnt been reading properly here tho and blurted out.. ok just mentioned.. in my twisted blog about my using blogsome.. omg! now it can be easily traced.. and grim thoughts runnin in my head now…

well it seems to me that this is someday gonna be known to him. or was i expecting him to find it without me mentioning.. hmm.. it could be flattering to know he was searching for info about me.. yeah sweetie! stalk me!!

although on second thought.. he might get mad. or frustrated.. nhe.. he’s not like that.. he cant even hurt a fly! the more im concerned about is his being “sad”. i dont want him to get sad… what more disappointed in me.

its just that some people in “the real waking world” knows my url there and i cant afford telling stuff that wasnt suppose to be known to them. yeah, for one my cousin (who im afraid had used my real “nickname” in her blog to link to it. tssk! i told her to edit it but brrr…) now my sis may have access to them without me knowing.

whats the commotion about then? why am i blogging away my thoughts and yet not wanting people who i know in real life read? its like an open diary but not to the closely related people - as in family and friends. i actually gave my url to twisted to some of my classmates in comp school (which was not a bad idea at first - bec. i was thinking.. pff. as if they’r gonna actually read!) and my bestfriend Coutry Girl Iha (freedompad). Technically, she’s the only one who should know coz yeah incase something happend to me.. (like suddenly running away, disappearing, went awol, fled to another country*.* without say or kill myself, somebody will show my fam what was going on in my mind). Now, with the bandwith twisted is getting, i lost track on tracking who is visiting it, so i had the urge to erm blog in another blog.

but why am i not telling a particular person about this new blog but i feel i should but i still havent? maybe to reserve some mystery for him to find out. hee.. folks, i tell him Everything! yeah, i sense some protests now (pff.. who’s reading anyway?) Yep, everything! and stuff that only i know and keep.

well, now i should place a sitemeter here from now on. besides, as i mentioned in a post before, an in-depth google search and technorati shows the link to this blog. tssk.. i think im just over-reacting here. need to dive into bed. soon.

which is my homebase? of course still twisted. now im thinking of an excuse for a comment to answer that question there. any suggestions?

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note: ok now, aside from the “signs” from the only Danielle Steel ive ever read and currently reading, i recieved a mail which i posted at Lady White Spirit’s blog. some clue: look for the post title bearing the same blog name.